Question: Why do some women degrade themselves these days?
I mean nowadays women are countering out the other women that speak out to the injustices towards them... being called the c word for example. One girl was arguing to the women that found it offensive(they weren't feminists) which makes women look like complete doormats that don't stand up for themselves. How can any women be against someone that speaks out to the problems they face?
And girls hate their own gender by degrading other girls who do not suck up to the popular boys when really they should be thinking for themselves. Its ironic too. Some women say that its their gender's responsibility and fault if they get abused by a bad boy. But those women also fall for the bad boy propaganda ( that makes them seem masculine)(in reality, those guys are whiners that want their way in life and know nothing about being a man)(they are selfish and confused and probably won't even save girls from danger). People say girls look for badboys. Does that mean that over 80% of women are irresponsible? A woman can't just hide from the world. They have to feel as free as men do. And they are not perfect when they are just young teenage girls to make decisions. Just like some ignorant teenage boys can't act like a real man. (ages 20 - 39 if you are speaking here) And its misogynistic for ANYONE to say that a women deserved to get abused because she fell for it. THE ABUSER IS TO BLAME!
Why do some women do this to themselves?
Relation Questions:
Answer:
Oh its gotta be men's fault. I mean thats obvious. The question is.....How?? Hmmm, i'm sure we'll think of something :-)
"Women that degrade themselves degrade themselves for men 80% of the time."<--- Hmmm, i dunno.....When DID you say that??
I knew you'd find a way ;-)
a narrow view from a boy. His world is filled with bars/clubs girls not women, push and shove, placing the blame elsewhere.
TU@Jude
Yes, men and women should think for themselves, no argument here. But on the subject of abuse, things aren't always cut and dry, and I don't know anyone that would knowingly go into an abusive situation.
Men and women can be taken in/charmed by a smooth operator. Everything looks good from the beginning, they act kindly, paint pretty pictures of you're future together, and say all the right things at the right time.
Their targets are usually trusting souls that might be a little naive; you can't blame someone for wanting to love and be loved. Human beings are social creatures by nature.
Real life has some azzholes, male or female.
I get what you are saying but...here's the deal. I was involved in a 15 year long abusive relationship...and back then, I guess I really was a victim. It sucked. But in order to get out of that, and begin to heal I had to make some empowering choices...and it wasn't easy. I had to take steps to recognize the situation I was in, start giving a **** about myself, and do what was necessary to break the cycle. I'm not a victim anymore. You're right, no one deserves abuse. And those who stay in abusive relationships do so for many reasons. Instinctively (or quite consciously) a victim of DV knows that she/he is in more danger if she leaves than if she stays. It is only fairly recently that the folks who run the shelters and the therapists who handle DV clients have begun to recognize that fact and to advise women and men who are in denial about it. What a catch-22, eh? Stay with the abuser and you know you'll keep getting hurt...leave him/her, and you may wind up dead. What a deal! So all of you out there (not the OP), who don't understand why women (or men) stay...you don't have to get it. We know, and we're in survival mode and no one, not a therapist, judge, neighbor, cop, or family member understands what we know we have to do in order to survive. Heck, if I'd taken the advice of some of those I just listed, I wouldn't be here today. I had to rely on my own instincts. People who are on the outside looking in: judge all you want...but you don't walk in our shoes, and be thankful for that.
And hey...one more thing I'd like to say...the abuser IS TO blame for his/her own actions. The person being abused does not have to take responsibility for someone else's behavior, but DOES have to take responsibility for his/her own stuff. That's where empowerment comes in. Once you start owning your own part, you can make changes. If you stay with a victim mentality...you're waiting for someone else to change in order for things to get better. And you may be waiting an awfully long time. Like forever.
Ya think you have enough parentheses in your novel?
Because when a woman "degrades" herself there are countless BENEFITS for her to enjoy.
Free meals. Free drinks. Money. Attention. Attention. Heaps of attention. The possibility of fame with zero requirement or skill. Free houses. Free cars. And she's even getting laid by as many guys as she wants!
But when a man DEGRADES himself..
There is NOTHING in it for him.
http://zerotm.files.wordpress.com/2009/0…
Is that the most PATHETIC thing you have seen in your life????
Women really have to take some responsibility for their own actions. If they choose to go out with a certain type of man, that is up to them. And if they find themselves being abused, it is up to them to get out of that relationship.
I seriously doubt though that most women actually end up with 'bad boys'. Even young women.
You seem to think that all women are totally pathetic, but I hope they are not all really as feeble and useless as you seem to think they are.
It's the result of the feminist push - men and women now value themselves PERSONALLY at a much lower grade than they did before, simply because the aim of feminism is to reduce every individual to the position of being a total slave of their current ruling clique.
This is to enable, rather than demolish, the opportunity for the ruling clique (Patriarchy, Matriarchy, Oligarchy, or whatever) to totally control and 'own' that person (the pursuit of 'demolishing' that opportunity is a myth that feminism espouses, as a direct result of its willing alliance with the ruling clique, and indeed, as a functioning part of it).
Brainwashing 101 dictates that, to reduce a person to a non-person, the first objective is to reduce their awareness and faith in themselves as an individual, and furthermore as an individual with power in his/her own life, to remove from them the right of self-determination.
Once that is established, total control over that person by the ruling clique is a fact.
Thus, feminism and its allied movements work assiduously to reduce each and every individual to nothing more than a battered and thus compliant mash of conflicting and undirected responses to that same battering. This latter function of the social milieu is a direct correlation with shadow boxing while the real issues go unseen outside the coverage of the light that creates the shadows.
EDIT: Juditha - if you were a woman, I'd love you every day of my life!
As man you have nothing to gain if you claim to be helpless and abused, as a woman you might become rich with that, claiming plenty of benefits.
Degrading yourself as a woman is often lucrative, but as a man if you degrade yourself, people will only laugh at you.
About bad boys, women truly like that, as it is a big adventure into violence, alcohol and drugs. - To stay with a man who is doing just a regular work is considered to be 'boring' by many females.
Women are not children, but adults.
Women are responsible themselves for THEIR bad, often highly materialistic choice, women should not judge men solely on their wallet and other questionable criteria.
And if something goes wrong, because of HER bad choice, it's the fault of the man?
And who cares about abused men? Half of all violence is instigated by women.
In any case the abuser is to blame? Not really if the abuser is a woman!
Clearly a double standard - feminism.
Those young girls are thinking for themselves, such as I did, when I was their age; back then I wanted nothing to do with feminism and I still don't. Don't look at my ma, she was one and so are my sisters. My wanting nothing to do with it hasn't stopped me in the least; I spoke my mind and still do. No one needs feminism, in order, to do so.
Now, the way it appears is, any woman, young or old, is degrading herself; just so long as she is against feminism; be anything you want but don't deny feminism; make any choice in life you want, but never deny feminism; in the event you're an adult woman surely you are being brainwashed; most likely by religion; in the event you're a teen, and or, a young adult woman, you don't know enough about life.
It all comes back to point number one; all women must be feminists.
What a bunch of hokey.
Larry, I love you dearly. I mean that. I think you're a real sweetheart. I may not agree with you but I honestly think you are in some ways an old fashioned gentleman. Or what a gentleman should be. And I respect that.
But Larry, most women who are adults know full well what they're getting into when they go for bad boys. They're taking a calculated risk, choosing the excitement over the safety of a decent guy.
We aren't children. We aren't brainwashed. Just like men, we make stupid choices.
You do agree men make stupid choices, right? And men are responsible for their stupid choices, even if we may sympathize?
EDIT
I do want to emphasize one thing: when women choose to be with men who mistreat them, the man has show a MORAL failing. The woman has shown a PRUDENTIAL failing.
Being IMPRUDENT does not mean she should be BLAMED or DESERVED the mistreatment. But she SHOULD be CRITICIZED and encouraged to LEARN from her mistakes.
EDIT
Okay yes, you used women and girls interchangeably in a few places. You're right that imprudent decisions by boys and girls deserve some slack. But not SO much.
In my tradition, a boy becomes responsible to The Law at age 13, a girl at age 12. That doesn't mean they are adults in every sense, but they can be expected to show some moral awareness and some judgment. And most especially, they can't JUST claim they didn't know any better.
