Question: What do you think of the beginning of my story so far?
What do you think of the beginning of my story so far? Edit/critique it if you want, or just offer comments. Thanks so much!
Nyx swooped down from the feathery white clouds. Pale
golden light streamed into her eyes. It was so pure
and bright it seemed almost like it was liquid,
flowing directly from the sun itself. The air was
refreshingly cool and invigorating. Nyx let out an
exhilarated whoop, her melodic voice echoing deeply
around the mountains whose peaks she dodged. She loved
flying. The sky was a bright blue, a stark contrast to
the earthy shades of green and brown she was so
accustomed to in Yiasel, the vast land below her. She
could see the edges of the forests and rivers, but not
much else. Nyx dove in dizzying circles, her sky blue
robe billowing out around her. Aiming for a grassy
green field, Nyx plummeted downwards. She stumbled
when her feet touched the ground, almost falling
backwards. So much for a graceful landing, she
(continued on next post)
The time for any rewriting will be later in the story my dear. The others are right, what matters now is what you think. On the other hand, if you really want to know, I liked the opening, but you need to explain a little more about Nyx in the first few sentences.
otherwise it is beautiful.
Actually I think it's very good.
This is what I got from it.
Nyx is a adventurous young lady that was out having a blast flying around, which she loves to do, and enjoying the freedom she feels when doing it. Her graceless landing is a sign she feels awkward on the ground. She is probably in some kind of trouble for goofing off.
While the story has been told before, your writing and description is wonderful. Keep it up.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
What do you think? Do you like the characters enough to tell their story? Do you think the story is interesting enough for you to make a commitment to write it all out until you are finally done? Are you confident enough within yourself to finish what you have started?
If a reader loves the beginning and you don't finish writing the rest then you have let down the reader and yourself. But if a reader hates it but you love it enough to write it out you will have not disappointed yourself and you may surprise your reader by writing a really great story.
For now, don't worry about the reader. Write. Write. And write more. When your story is finished then you can see what readers think. Hopefully more people will love it than don't but what is important is that you, the writer, write for your own sake.
I like it! I would have continued to read if there was more to read. keep up the great work.
I personally liked but I think it might be a little confusing. What is exactly Nyx?
I agree with Satia. I have received mixed reviews about parts of my writing here but that don't discourage me
Not too bad, it has a lot of potential, however, you may want to clarify the events surrounding your story. Also I'd try to clean up the puncuation and try to use fewer choppy sentences, but keep at it, you'll get the story where it needs to be.