Question: Wat do u think of my story.?
I got really bored one day so i started writing something. i don't don't have a name for it yet but tell me wat u think of it.
“This sucks”! I thought as I waited in a tree for a few morons to pass by. “Yo, which way did Ashley go”, Gary asked like the clueless idiot he is. What a dumbass, I thought, you’d think he’d have some common sense but no. “Maybe she went towards downtown”, Matt replied. “Ok then let’s go”!! They ran down the road like there were wolves at there heels. I waited at least five minutes before I climbed down the tree, or fell down is more like it. I started too climbed down when I put my foot in a wrong place, and well the rest isn’t hard to figure out.
“SON OF A CRACKER”! I pretty much yelled at the top of my lungs. “I’m gonna feels that one in the morning”. Boy, what a day this is turning out to be. I looked up at the tree. This tree has been here for a while, and it’s been helping me for almost a year now. I hide in it every time Matt and Gary chase me. This tree is pretty much the only thing keeping me from extra bruises.
I stared walking home. Hopefully there would be nothing in my way. It was about ten blocks the short way home and fifteen the long way. I took the long way. I needed to think about some stuff. But first I busted out my iPod and started listening to Iris by the Goo Goo dolls.I swear I’m going to kill Gary and Matt one of these days. They are the typical high school jocks. And yes they are both jackasses! They think they’re the ****, and try to act all tough so they beat up people who don’t respect the “living goddess”, (aka my step sister).
My family is just a big pain in the ***! My mom got divorced when I was 9 years old and got married again a few weeks later. Now I am 15and I still hate all of their guts. The guys name is Gorge Landen. And sadly Landen is my last name to now. They had three daughters Hailey, Claire, and Marissa. Sadly they have been my half-sisters for a few years now. I’m surprised I haven’t gone crazy yet. Hailey and Claire are twins and Marissa is the one who is supposed to save the dam world. Here is something I don’t get. Humanity has all this technology and yet we still believe in prophesies. The prophecy says something about a monster in the bowls of the earth, and that some one with the markings of a warrior will kill it shall it ever arise. It also says that there will be a person with the monster with the markings of evil. And that person will fight with the monster no matter what.
Well we know what the top half of both markings looks like. The funny thing is the top halves of both markings look the same. And both of the bottom halves were torn off and lost forever. Then one day Marissa the daughter of a famous priest came home with the top half of a marking on her back and people are putting all there faith in her.She said from that day on she wanted to be treated like a goddess, so people started calling her the “living goddess”. So the very next second she got dozens of bodyguards and all hell broke loose the second the order was made. Well let people believe what they want to believe. I don’t care because I don’t believe in all that crap. How do we not know she is the one who will fight with the monster? The thing that really bugs me is that people think she is this perfect little angel. She gets presents from all over the world. It’s insane! Last week she got a golden crown from the other side of the world. She spent half an hour taking freaking pictures with it. I just wanted to take that crown and smack her upside the head with it. I was very close to doing just that.
Then everyone expects me to go to every single dam big event. Yah, like I’m gonna go somewhere every time Marissa has a fancy party to host or go to. **** that ****! I’d rather stay home in my oversized T-shirt and my grey sweats watching movies. Oh yeah, and my German shepherd named Sam. I love that guy. He seems to be the only one who is ever happy to see me these days.
“Whoa!” I found myself falling face first on the sidewalk. I must have tripped on a crack or something like that. The pavement was freakishly hot. Man, its hot today I thought. What was it like 90’ degrees? No surprise there a hot day in Malibu, California. I was dressed for a hot day in California. I was wearing blue shorts, white spaghetti straps, and Knee High black converse. My long brown hair was in a ponytail, and obviously I had a tan. A weird thing about me is that my eyes are different colors. One is blue and the other is brown.
I stopped walking. Here I was my own personal hell, a three story foyer with an iron gate. It might as well say “All hope Abandoned, ye who enter in”, from Dante’s Inferno. I shut off my iPod because her highness doesn’t like music. You’d think the whole world would stop listening to music because that ***** doesn’t like it but thankfully no. She doesn’t want to
Can you answer my question?
There are writing-help sites on the link below, and i think you're looking for constructive criticsm, peer opinion, outsider's input, etc.
I don't like it that much. Mainly, cuz nothing really happens.
I do like the ending though.
Sounds like Holden Caulfield has been reincarnated and is back with a vengeance.