Question: My girlfriend just broke up with me out of nowhere and I dont know what I should do?
My girlfriend recently broke up with me after we were dating for 2 years and four months. Prior to this we knew each other and were friends for about 3 months. So, our relationship was really great, we rarely ever argued or fought, we got along really well, we loved to have fun and enjoyed each others company. Our relationship consisted of little to no problems and we really did love each other. Now what I do not understand is why she decided to dump me. Her mood swings all started back in June when I went to Italy to see my family for 4 weeks. When I was away on vacation she basically ruined it by telling me she feels like she's single and that she doesn't need a boyfriend. However, after a few days she called me back saying she was just having a mood swing and that she loved me and wants to be with me. So, I return back home and everythings going well again. Going out, hanging out with friends, emotions for each other going crazy and then after im back for a month she throws another tantrum. Saying she doesnt think she needs a boyfriend now and blah blah. A few days later she takes this back and says shes sorry and were all back to normal again. Now, she goes to puerto rico for 2 weeks to visit family and friends and I did not bother her while she was away. She was on vacation and I'm not the type to be the annoying partner always calling or texting. So, she returns about two weeks ago from this day that I'm posting this and goes all crazy for me, jumps in my arms, kissing me, saying how much she missed me and she bought me all this stuff. I'm overjoyed and loving it..... The next time we see each other is this past saturday and I hung out with her in front of her house just talking to her. She was all emotional with me showing me love and affection and kept asking me if there was something wrong with me. I really just wanted to make love but I didnt tell her that lol but yeah her birthday was coming up in 2 weeks and i used that as an excuse. I just said I didnt know what to get her and I was upset that i couldnt think of anything. So, just this past Monday 8/16 she comes to the city to see me and we have a great lunch together. Before parting she could literally not let go of me and was smelling me and telling me she loves me and kissing me. You know the touchy lovey dubby stuff that girls like to do. So yeah, on Tuesday 8/17 she gets suprised by our friend and goes to a concert and asks me for a ride home because she doesnt live in the safest neighborhood and theres been some crime lately. So I say yes and i pick her up. When I picked her up she was extremely quiet and sad and wouldnt talk to me at all. I kept asking what was wrong and finally at the front of her house she tells me that shes unhappy. I ask her why and she responds as follows:
Right now im really confused in life and stressed out about finishing school. I dont know what i want to do after school and I am just so confused about what is going to happen. Also, I'm upset at the fact that you dont go out and socialize with people or make friends and hang out with people and i cannot be the only person that you rely on for emotions, talking, etc... I need a break and space to figure my life out and I cant have a boyfriend to interfere with this... (or something like that lol)
So, the whole time she was telling me this she was extremely emotional and crying her eyes out like crazy telling me that shes sorry and that she doesnt want me to get hurt and shes sorry for hurting me. So what i dont understand is why she needs a break from me and why she wants to be single. I mean to describe me as a boyfriend I am good looking (always have girls interested in me) I'm very athletic and run marathons, I'm in good shape 6 foot 1, 160 pounds some muscles, I am a nice person, I dont argue, I dont fight with people, I always treated her nicely, I took her places, Bought her some things (not a lot of stuff she wasnt materialistic and didnt want anything lol) was committed to her, never cheated, never thought of cheating, and whatever time i had i used it to please her ( btw im really busy, work full time, college full time, in a band, part of a running team) and I just bought her a promise ring on our 2 year anniversary. She was all emotional and crying and was saying she wants to marry me... so yeah, now were just friends and havent really been talking much since tuesday but just friendly stuff between each other for the past 3 or so days.... I dont know what to do anymore!?!?!?!? I'm confused now and I really want to be with her but i dont know what to do ... i mean just a day before her dumping me she was all over me loving me kissing me, etc.... I have no idea what has happened .... can anyone help me?
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Answer:
wow that sounds really horrible, i say dont blame yourself, im sure u didnt do anything to cuz this breakup - unless ur leaving out details - but to be honest, i guess you just have to be friends with her...the best thing to do is to talk to her and asks her why she did what she did, like be more clearer, about it and explain how she goes from lovey dovey one day to all sad the next...
it could be she was putting on a front and she wasnt happy, but didnt want to show it, or perhaps she is under alot of stress and needs time alone...
the best thing to do is to stay in contact with her, and just try to talk to her...i wouldnt suggest coming on as pushy and stuff or desperate, the only thing you can do is talk it out and see if you can get answers straight from the source....
xx best of luck xx
Sounds like she was cheating on you or thinking about it. Really sorry to say that, but... it's how people behave when they've been unfaithful. They'll go from broody to accusing to extra close because they're dealing with guilt and trying to find reasons to justify what they did. Or maybe she just doesn't love you anymore, love doesn't have anything to do with how great someone is. You sound like a nice guy and the best thing you can do is to keep being who you are and another great girl will come your way and want to be with you.
Kinda reminds me of myself. I have a boyfriend, and weve been together for about 9 months, and at times i get this thing where i feel like dumping my boyfriend, i cant explain it, i think its some type of girl pms thing. I guess its cause i feel lonely, since we havent seen each other in about 3 months, but it helps when my bf reminds me that hes still there waiting for me. But yeah, i would say maybe she has had some bad experience with a an ex in her past and he dumped her. Therefore maybe now she thought you were going to dump her, so she dumped you first. I remember that my ex was really mushy, and he always used to bring me flowers everyday, and i guess i just got tired of his mushiness cause it kinda made me feel like i was just going out with a very emotional person, but im not sure if that applies to all girls. But I would advise you to keep her as a friend, and just be prepared if she wants to get back with you. Sometimes we are really undesisive and regret what we do, so who knows, she may be thinking about it right now.... good luck, and hope everything goes good for you